Long term love

I have been home from my mission for a while now.
It's been 3 years and three months (roughly).
And I still miss it from time to time.
I still feel like it was yesterday.

What have I been doing with my time? While I could be really hard on myself, because I haven't been as strict to my goals as I had planned, I am proud of a few things.

I am happy to be married.
Though we are struggling to get the wheels of life if motion, it is really great to have a partner during this crazy journey.

I am happy to still be an active member.
Sometimes I am depressed because I am not as active as I should be. I use to dream of being a legendary member missionary. I must admit that I have fallen into old habits. I'm shy and lazy again, just like I used to be, but I am happy that I go to church every Sunday. I am happy that my testimony for the church is still strong. And while I still have a lot to improve, I'm happy that I have a desire to progress. I might not be the hardcore member I wanted to be, but I'm happy that I am worthy of a temple recommended and that Christ and his atonement constantly come back to my mind daily.

I am happy to have a little girl.
After being married for a month, I got pregnant. That's pretty quick! I was a little scared at first about what it would do to my relationship with my husband. The truth is that it is the best thing that has ever happened to us. Our little girl was born in February. She came with good health. She is growing well, sleeping well, and full of smiles. We couldn't be happier. I'm glad we didn't wait a single second later to have a baby. She has only made us better and stronger.

Christ is the center of a happy home.
This is my current mission, to make him the head of our household.

With love,
Erin

"What we insistently desire, over time, is what we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity… Only by educating and training our desires can they become our allies instead of our enemies!" Neal A Maxwell

"if you are not proactive in educating your desires, the world will do it for you." Randall L. Ridd

I can do hard things

One time on my mission, not the only time, things were hard. My mission president's wife knew and gave me a call to see how I was doing. I said, "Well, I'm learning a lot". She saw right through my shallow attempt to shrug it off and told me something that was once told to her during a hard time. She said "Sometimes it's just hard, and all you are learning is that you can do hard things". That phrase stuck with me for the rest of my mission, and then after until today.

I believe that difficult times makes for really interesting foundations of reflection.

But sometimes we ponder the wrong questions. We could waste days trying to figure out why Heavenly Father let us stumble into a certain trial. Questions like "What did I do to deserve this?" or "What is it he wants me to learn from this?" Could be more of a hindering distraction than a source of enlightenment.

Many know that that our trials are often the biggest opportunities for growth. Yet so often we avoid anything trying. Why is that? Do we not want to grow? Do we not want to be made strong?

I have had friends say to me "Don't pray for patience!! You will regret it!". While it is true such a request may lead to a difficult time, we know heavenly father will not give us a trial we cannot handle. Yet we have so much fear. We often imagine that he's just waiting to pile on the burdens. Our fears overpower our faith in ourselves to pull through and even overthrow our trust in him.

Instead of suggesting that you avoid praying for patience or other Christ-like attributes that may make mountains that obstruct, I would suggest that you pray for them with courage.

Thought provoking question:
What are you willing to do for a million dollars? There is no doubt that for such wealth we would stretch our comfort zones in a number of ways. One might swallow a sardin whole. One might face a fear of heights and bungee jump the empire state building. One might even allow bodily harm, such as a porcupine quill sting to the rear end.

Heck, some might even do more just for a klondike bar!

But what parts of your comfort zone are you willing to stretch to learn compassion? What would you do to learn dilligence?

To learn any given christ-like attribute you will need to sacrifice.

(1 Peter 1:7)
"That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:"

The difficult things that we learn here on earth will always be of more value to us than gold or any other precious material thing.

And as we struggle, we are not left alone. Cast your burdens upon the Lord. Accept the challenge and trust in him.

(matthew 11:30)
"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Heavenly Father loves us, and only he can see our true potential. Only he knows exactly what we need and won't hesitate to give it to us.

Going through an intense trial? Don't lose faith! Study this talk by Neil L. Anderson: Trial of Your Faith

The hardest calling

While I was serving a mission in Porto Alegre, I had various types of callings. I'm sure all of you have. There are "big" callings and "small" callings. There are callings with titles, and callings that come as an unspoken duty. As I began to grow and face a growing number of leadership opportunities I began to ponder about and challenges sure to come. I came to an interesting conclusion.

Before I tell you my opinion I want you to develop and and ponder over your own with this question.


What was the hardest calling you had on your mission...

?

Now that you have had a time to ponder, let me tell you what I think was the hardest and why. After reading, please share your opinion and why in the comment box.

The hardest missionary calling: JUNIOR COMPANION.

whatt??? I can't be serious right?

Well I am.

For me, there is nothing harder than wanting to make a difference, and not knowing how. When you are called to a leadership position you have control and decisions to make. You go to meetings, you're given direction. As a junior, you are told to listen to your leaders and follow the spirit. So that's why it gets hard when you disagree with your companion about an action that should be taken, or when you want to say something but are afraid to "step on someones toes". To those experiencing this dilema I refer to the classic nike slogan: "JUST DO IT" I remember wanting to do contacts and feeling out of place because my companions weren't doing them. I remember wanting to say certain things to investigators and being afraid my companion would disagree. Being junior is hard because you spend a lot of time second-guessing yourself. It's so easy to fall into mission culture, or do the bare-minimum. You don't want to rock the boat too much. In time I learned to overcome this, with lots of prayer and study. I learned to trust the Lord more. But I still have to constantly keep it up to maintain a spirit of courage and ACT by faith.

So how does this relate to Post-mission life?

When I got home I was happy and outgoing and hopeful. I shared experiences with co-workers, and family members. But that quickly faded away. No longer was I a unique member of society making a 24 hour noble sacrifice to the Lord and those I served. I didn't receive a calling. Not a single calling. And so I was worse than junior...I was just normal.... just a member. In this situation it becomes extremely easy to lose the point and purpose to it all. It becomes super easy to sit back and take a ride. Without a calling it's hard to know how to serve. But it doesn't make your duty any less. 

This is why many Return missionaries swirl into a depression.

This evening (5/4/2014) We watched a CES fireside with Elder M. Russell Ballard from San Diego. Something he said reminded me of the importance to act.

He said, "Satan wants you to stop practicing good habits and stand on the sidelines....Remember we are at war..."

When I got home form my mission all my formal responsibilities were sucked away! This doesn't mean I can sit on the sidelines. And if I want to be a good member missionary I need to keep up the good habits I learned as a full-time missionary. Which is why it's sometimes surprising to see how few a number of Returned missionaries actually get to bed by 10:30 and study the scriptures everyday. I must admit that I am guilty of breaking these rules.

We have a wonderful work to participate in. This, the Lord's work, isn't just for full-time missionaries anymore. If the church is going to have success it's gonna need your participation. And what does that mean? What are your responsibilities. It's simple. Just like a junior companion, your job is to listen to your leaders and follow the spirit. And don't follow my failed attempts. When you feel prompted to do something, don't be afraid to step on someone's toes. JUST DO IT. We are all leaders here. If you don't act, you are not magnifying your calling.

So I want to encourage you to STICK to good habits, and ACT when the spirit whispers. You will find you are much happier and productive. Surely your purpose and identity will return to you. It's all there in your little leather bound quad, but it needs to be opened if it's really gonna make a difference in your life.

That's all I have for today! Thanks for reading,
As sister's in zion,
Erin Young

ps. welcome Danielle, I can't wait to read your post ;)

Introduction

I was talking to an investigator in Brazil about my anticipated return home to the states.

Me - "I don't know how I am going to survive. Returning home is going to be so hard for me."

Investigator - "Doesn't the church have support groups for that?"

Me - (With a smile) "No, but they really should."

And since I couldn't find anything in the best web surfing I could do after an 18 month hiatus from the internet, I am doing the next best thing:

Here begins my attempt to offer support to those suffering from a loss of purpose and identity as their calling as a representative of the Lord has come to an end. My actions here have a dual purpose. I hope to sort this new life out myself as well. Hopefully we can grow through this experience together.

I hope to include experiences and posts from others as well. If you would like to participate with a post, please send me an email at "3rinyoung@gmail.com"

So let me start off by introducing myself,

Hi, my name is Erin and I am a Return Missionary. As of today, I have been home for 4 months and six days.